Viral: ‘Dowry And Alimony’, these have remained the two very contradictory and a controversial topic in Indian society. The Norm behind ‘asking’ for dowry is logically, morally and even socially corrupt and immoral. Some believe in the sentiment of ‘No alimony, No dowry’, some completely disagree and some in the modern trend tries to cover it up by calling it as a ‘GIFT’.
Following to this debate, a post relating to this on reddit has gone viral. As the post reads, it gives a stark reminder of the urgent change society needs and healthily compelling women to invest in a side income rather than becoming a prey to dowry.
Whats up with desi parents paying 5-6 crore dowry
byu/lady_goblinn inAskIndianWomen
Sentiment Behind Asking For Dowry
The sentiment behind asking for a dowry is primarily rooted in greed, a desire for social status and deeply ingrained patriarchal beliefs that treats women as financial burdens and some as commodities. The reason behind why it is considered wrong is because of it being a major cause of gender inequality, horrific violence and male dominance against women.
1. Patriarchal Mindset
The practice is rooted in a patriarchal belief system where men are treated as ‘assets’ while women are viewed as ‘liabilities’. This mindset fuels the idea that a daughter must be “sent off” with money or gifts. A data from NCRB consistently shows over 6,000 dowry-related deaths every year in India, reflecting how deeply this mindset still influences society.
2. Social Conditioning
For generations, families have been told that dowry is a ‘tradition,’ normalising a harmful practice. Even today, in many parts of North India, marriage discussions begin with indirect or coded dowry expectations. Surveys by the Indian Human Development Survey (IHDS) reveal that over 80% of Indian households still see dowry as a social custom, despite it being illegal.
3. Status Symbol
In several communities, dowry has become a way to display social standing. More Lavish gifts like cars, gold, cash, land; ‘prestigious’ the marriage is seen.
4. Greed
For many, dowry becomes an opportunity to extract money or property under the guise of tradition. NCRB reports also show thousands of dowry harassment cases filed each year, indicating how widespread greed-driven demands remain across states like Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Rajasthan, and Haryana.
5. Power Imbalance
The groom’s family often holds the upper hand in marriage negotiations, using social pressure to force the bride’s side into compliance.
This is especially visible in societies where marriage age and social expectations create urgency, making families feel they have no choice but to meet dowry demands to ‘secure a good match.’
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Netizens Reactions
Comment section was flooded with pool of comments from users criticizing the takers.
‘I have heard that the guys with high profile govt job (IAS, IPS, IRS, IFS, etc) get huge amount of dowry. Even in some states it goes upto 100crore’ , a user wrote.
Another user mentioned, ‘Being financially independent, educated and having all stability still giving and taking dowry.’
‘5-6 cr?????? Are they really doctors or beggars?’, Third user mentioned.
Shockingly another reddit user mentioned, ‘Wait…so they aren’t doctors and after getting the dowry they’ll buy seat in those medical colleges?’.
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