Actor Vijay Varma recently spoke about going through a traumatic journey, revealing how unresolved childhood trauma and family strife affected his mental health.
During a candid conversation with Rhea Chakraborty on her podcast Chapter 2Vijay shared that his turbulent relationship with his father and years of struggle in the film industry are gone Permanent emotional scars. He said: “My love for my father took a beating when I became a teenager. He loved me, but he wanted many things from me that I didn’t want – my career, my friends, even the way I spent my time. Everything about me seemed to bother him.” Rejection and distance eventually led him to leave home, a decision he admits he still feels guilty about. “I used to carry guilt about leaving home. I still feel guilty. I left my family and struggled alone for a decade without achieving anything. Today things make sense – but at the time, they didn’t.”
Years later, during the pandemic, this buried pain resurfaced as a mental health crisis. “I kept deteriorating. Ira (Khan) was the first one to say, ‘Vijay, you have to start moving.’ She made me join the Zoom workouts. She was like my coach. Eventually, he started treatment and was diagnosed with ‘severe depression and anxiety.'” During Surya Namaskar, “I would break down and cry for hours without knowing why,” he recalls.
Commenting on his recovery, Vijay said, “Being from a dysfunctional family, if you don’t sort things out, it leaves a permanent mark. You think you have forgotten the childhood pains, but the subconscious remembers.” He also touched on how early trauma affects adult love patterns: “It shows up in your love life. You keep repeating the patterns unless you talk about it… When you see close relationships letting you down as a child, love starts to feel afraid. So you push people away.”
But how does unresolved childhood trauma continue to impact our emotional health into adulthood?
Jorlyn Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, says: indianexpress.com“Childhood hurt rarely goes away; it changes form. What was not felt or named earlier often returns as adult patterns, e.g. Sudden anger Or tearfulness, numbness, people-pleasing, perfectionism, controlling, or “withdrawal” from close relationships. The mind may say: I’m over it, but the body and nervous system remain on alert, looking for ancient danger; Small stimuli feel great because they touch on unfinished feelings. We also carry early “maps” of love and security, so we may unwittingly repeat familiar dynamics like pursuing distance, clinging, or choosing partners who recreate the past.
Repair begins with noticing the pattern, naming it, and allowing the feelings to be felt safely (often through therapy), so that the past can be integrated rather than endlessly reenacted.
Why does physical movement or therapy sometimes lead to unexpected emotional releases?
When we go through traumatic experiences, especially early in life, Baruah says the body holds what the mind cannot process. Trauma is stored not only as a memory but also as sensations, such as a tightness in the chest, a knot in the stomach, or constant alertness in the muscles.
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“So, when someone moves through yoga, breathing, or therapy, these frozen parts begin to thaw. Movement brings awareness back to areas that have been shut down for years. That’s why people sometimes cry or shake without knowing why. The body releases what words never could. It’s not weakness, it’s integration,” she adds.
Break emotional patterns and create healthier, safer relationships
The expert concludes: “Healing begins with awareness: noticing these patterns without judgement. Gradually, through therapy or relationships characterized by consistency and patience, one learns how to survive when instinct kicks in. This is how new emotional wiring is built – slowly, confidently, and gently toward the parts that once needed to protect themselves.”
(Tags for translation) Vijay Varma
